What should I do in the case of a zombie apocalypse?
This is a very important question, and one, for some reason most people have not considered. We would ask you; do you know how difficult it will be to buy bacon from the shops once zombies are roaming the street? Do you have a good supply of quality condiments to complement your dietary needs? In a recent scientific (cough) study, postmen and women are the least likely group of people to become zombies. Must be their ability to dodge biting dogs and whatnot. So we suggest you place an order with BAM today. Stock up now and stock up well!
Who are you?
We are a couple of people who love food (and fear zombies). We have taken an opportunity in life to be able to spread that love of food by creating our own and allowing you lovely people to share in our joy!
Where are your pigs from?
Our pork comes from pigs bred and reared on the West Country pastureland. The pigs are bred from Wessex Saddlebacks which have been improved and crossed with modern breeds noted for their taste and eating quality which gives a very tender, succulent tasting pork. The pigs are fed on a clean, wholesome diet that does not contain antibiotic growth promoters or meat and bone meal. The food is balanced to the pigs needs ensuring health and well-being.
What payment methods do you accept?
We accept Visa, Mastercard and Paypal. We also accept gold bullion but as yet we haven’t found a payment gateway which allows us to accept in on the website…
I am vegetarian, why does bacon tempt me so?
While we respect your choice to be vegetarian and support you fully in only eating plants – after all our sauces are all vegetarian – we do feel that you are missing something from your diet. Bacon, as the fifth food group, provides joy to the palate which may otherwise be missing; its combination of smoky and salty flavours are truly something that only the most committed could do without..
What is BAM?
The original name is from our UK Chilli Cookoff team.. Bad Ass Mother…(you can work out the rest)… Sarah was cooking, Jon was judging. The rest is history!
I am a chilli hero but my partner is a chilli wimp, what is your advice?
By exposing your partner to chilli it will increase blood flow. A healthy blood flow can do wonders for your libido by increasing circulation to your sexual organs. Foods that increase circulation include garlic, chilli peppers and ginger. All of which you will find in our foods!
What delivery method do you use?
We ship our bacon in insulated packs and our parcels are sent using good old Royal Mail if they weigh less than 2kg and UKMail for parcels over 2kg, to try to keep prices as low as we can. Depending on how much you have ordered your pack may or may not fit though your letter box, but the insulated packs within your parcel will keep the bacon cold for up to 48 hours, so unless you have gone on holiday, you should be fine.
Is there a minimum order?
No! You can order just one item if you so wish, but if you’re buying lots of products you may save on postage!
What days do you deliver?
We ship orders on Tuesdays, so you should get them on Wednesday. We are hoping to increase the number of shipping slots, when The Dood has recovered from having his muscles reattached in his arm.
Obviously bacon is the greatest food in the world, what are the the rest of the top 10?
This is not something we can go into detail now. However, it should be sufficient to state that Nutella is 5th.
Do I need to sign up to a subscription to receive your bacon?
No. You can order as little or as often as your like whenever it suits you. Just sign in with your account details to re-order quickly and easily. However let us know if you would like a subscription service and if there is a need we will implement one!
Do you sell unsmoked bacon?
No. To get the very best flavour from the bacon we use a unique hot-smoking process that gives our bacon a truly amazing flavour that you just don’t get from unsmoked or even cold smoked bacon. If you’ve never tasted hot-smoked bacon before, then why not try ours? You may never have unsmoked bacon again!
Can I freeze your bacon?
There is nothing stopping you from freezing our bacon, it will be fine, it’s feelings maybe hurt somewhat that you have decided to not allow it to fulfil it’s destiny immediately, but what you do with your bacon in the privacy of your own home is entirely up to you!
Your bacon looks different to supermarket bacon…
That’s right! We use a unique hot-smoking process that locks much more flavour into the bacon than the traditional cold smoking method. Our bacon is partially cooked so you won’t get that pinky look, but believe us, it tastes so much better for it and you don’t need to cook it in the pan for as long!
I ate bacon three times today and twice yesterday. What should I do tomorrow?
The average person eats Bacon 18 times per year, by continuing with your consumption you are providing a service that shows the average person is wrong and that most statistics are made up on the spot
How secure are my personal details?
We use state of the art encryption tools and security measures to ensure your safety when purchasing from BAM. These systems help safeguard you from unauthorised transactions or fraudulent activity by protecting your personal financial information.
I have read this entire FAQ and I am confused!
We can offer support services to those who need extra help in choosing the Way of the Bacon. Please drop us a line to firstname.lastname@example.org and we will help you find your way (unless you are a zombie that is).